So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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