i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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