i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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