Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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