and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
