i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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