the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
