Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
