Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
