oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
