matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
why is half of my head shaved?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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