He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
