at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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