Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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