it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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