forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
