if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
