he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
