Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Randomize
