i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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