OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
