I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
