Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
