actually, I'm a sock model
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
