..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
