Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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