i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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