NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
