jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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