So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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