question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
