porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
