Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
