i think i have herpe
just one?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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