history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
