Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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