I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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