she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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