Kiss
Puke
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
