Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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