An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
