I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
