6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
