The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
