I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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