My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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