bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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