I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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