I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
