No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
