I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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